I finally got myself to watch the movie The Fault in Our Stars about a young girl with terminal cancer and at the end she talks about a cancer patients last good day, “There’s no way of knowing that your last good day is Your Last Good Day. At the time, it is just another good day.” I don’t know when my mother’s last good day will be, but as of lately she has had many good days and for that I am unbelievably grateful. I do not know if it means that the chemo treatments are working as her last scan showed no significant improvement. The scan did not show any significant advancement, so that is good news in itself as well. The truth is, at this point, we have to treat this time as if it could be her last good days. Yes I want my mother to live for many more years and I’m holding onto the hope that God will perform a miracle and remove every last bit of cancer from her body, but at the same time we must not be naive to the idea that these good days could be a small blessing in disguise.
I pushed myself to my limits this past semester taking on five classes at the University in hopes to graduate this summer so my mother can see me complete what I started. All be to the glory of God, with hard work, and the support of my wonderful family, I finished off this semester with almost all A’s. There were times when I wanted to give up, but I pushed through for myself, my family and most of all my mother. How in the world did I manage to work full-time, go to school full-time, maintain a household with a rambunctious toddler, and take on the weight of my mother’s illness? It was all to His glory! I am more than confident that my mother will see me complete my Bachelors of Science degree in psychology with a minor in anthropology this July. I pushed myself so she could have that moment with me.
I had originally planned to have my son’s third birthday early as I didn’t know if my mother would be well enough to celebrate with him in the fall, but her health has been great so I’m hoping to hold off a little while longer. I am beyond grateful to see my mother so full of life right now. I do not know how long it will last, one can only hope that it will be for many more years but at the same time…you have to be conscious of the idea that it could very well be her last good days.
So for now I will cherish every bit of light in the darkness of this journey. Thank you for the good days Lord!