I wanted to start this blog the day the doctors said my mom only has months left to live. You wouldn’t believe it by looking at her. She looks mostly healthy and strong. Pancreatic cancer is aggressive so despite the chemo and radiation treatments, her tumor is suffocating her arteries.
My son Asher ask for my mom everyday when she is not staying with us. The thought of her not being here and hearing my son ask for her is excruciating. In the meantime I must also continue to work full-time, do homework assignments for the 5 college classes I am taking (my hope was for my mom to see me graduate) and care for my husband and son. I still have bills to pay and a home to manage. Even though all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry and be with my mom every single breathing second, that is not reasonable or doable. I do know from here on out I will be spending every free moment of my time with my loving mama. I wish I could just freeze time if even for a moment so my mom can stay here and my son can enjoy her for as long as possible. No one ever will or can replace your mom.
I am so thankful for my family and friends that have been my emotional support and backbone especially my husband. He has been a tremendous support as he comforts me and lifts me up.
Most of all I find my hope and strength in the one who took on the cross, Jesus. He has fought all my battles for me. No thing in my life is a surprise to Him. He already knows the beginning and the end. All I can do is trust in Him and know that He will get me through it.